A woman is comforted by other women in a domestic violence support group

Domestic Violence or Abuse: Support & Therapy

Date: April 25, 2025 | 8 Minute Read

Domestic violence isn't always like what we see in movies or on the news. Sometimes it's hidden behind closed doors because people are scared, confused or shamed. Many survivors don't have physical bruises that can be seen. Instead, they're dealing with the unseen weight of emotional, financial or psychological control. It is important to know what domestic abuse is and how to help those who are affected recover.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Understanding the domestic violence definition involves recognizing that abuse leaves more than physical scars. Domestic violence, or domestic abuse, is a persistent pattern of control, intimidation and power in an intimate relationship. So, what is domestic abuse?

A survivor of domestic violence often describes that the psychological and emotional impacts of domestic abuse last longer and are even more painful than the physical abuse.

It is when one partner in an intimate relationship uses their power to control the other person. When we think of abuse, we might think of physical violence first, but abuse can come in many forms. While abuse can look different in each relationship, some common forms include:

  • Physical abuse: hitting, pushing, choking, or using weapons
  • Emotional/psychological abuse: gaslighting, threats, isolation, manipulation
  • Verbal abuse: yelling, name-calling, constant criticism
  • Financial abuse: controlling access to money, attempts to ruin employment
  • Sexual abuse: coercion, assault, or using intimacy as a weapon
  • Digital abuse: stalking via phone or social media, monitoring activity

What makes domestic abuse especially harmful is how it can make someone lose their sense of self over time. Abuse usually starts small, with warning signs that are easy to miss or are ignored, until it becomes part of your daily life.

A survivor of domestic abuse often doesn’t realize they are being abused, especially when there are no physical signs. This is why understanding domestic abuse is such a crucial part of healing.

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Domestic Abuse Statistics: The Scope of the Problem

Domestic abuse is alarmingly common and affects people of all genders, ages and backgrounds. Women are usually the most impacted, but men and LGBTQ+ individuals also experience abuse, often without as much support or recognition from society.

Consider these domestic violence statistics:

  • About 41% of women and 26% of men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime—and importantly, they reported a related impact, such as fear, concern for safety, injury or PTSD symptoms.
  • Domestic violence affects an estimated 10 million people each year in the United States.
  • Roughly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men are victims of domestic violence, but the actual numbers may not be completely accurate due to people feeling shame and stigma, which leads to underreporting.
  • Studies have shown almost half of female homicides and about 10% of male homicides in the United States are caused by intimate partners. Intimate partner violence (IPV) has also been connected to about 6% of suicides, showing how serious the mental health consequences of abuse can be.
  • Communities that are often overlooked and discriminated against, such as Black, Indigenous, LGBTQ+, and individuals with disabilities, experience domestic violence just as much or even more than the general population. However, they also face additional challenges in seeking help due to discrimination, lack of culturally sensitive services, fear of being “outed,” and accessibility challenges.

Effective prevention and intervention plans need to account for systemic issues like racism, ableism, and homophobia, so that survivors can get the care they need. While domestic abuse can affect everyone, women are more likely to experience the most serious and life-threatening situations.

That’s why hotlines for women, such as the domestic abuse hotline for women, are so important. They provide confidential support, safety planning and ways to heal 24/7.

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FAQs

What is the Definition of Domestic Abuse?

An accurate domestic abuse definition describes it as a pattern of behavior where one partner uses fear and control to harm the other in the relationship. This can be done emotionally, psychologically, physically or financially.

How Do I Know if I’m Experiencing Domestic Abuse?

If you’re scared of your partner, feeling like you have to be careful around them (e.g., walk on eggshells), or feel isolated and controlled, this could be a sign of domestic abuse. Abuse is more about control than just violence.

What is the Best Domestic Abuse Hotline to Call?

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org. Many local domestic abuse agencies also have 24-hour hotlines.

How Can Therapy Help Someone Recovering from Domestic Abuse?

Therapy is a safe place that helps you work through trauma, rebuild confidence, reduce PTSD symptoms and learn healthier relational patterns and boundary setting.

Where Can I Find Domestic Abuse Support Groups Near Me?

You can Google search terms such as “domestic abuse help near me” or “domestic abuse support groups near me,” which will bring up domestic abuse support in your area or online.

If you are already receiving domestic abuse therapy, you can ask your therapist for some resources.

Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence and Seeking Help

Domestic abuse often escalates over time, and there are observable signs and symptoms. Early signs include:

  • Constantly criticizing or belittling
  • Monitoring your whereabouts or phone
  • Being jealous or making accusations
  • Isolating you from friends or family
  • Making you feel guilty for expressing needs

Family, friends and healthcare providers can also help identify signs such as:

  • Frequent injuries
  • Vague or inconsistent explanations
  • Chronic pain
  • Increased or worsening mental health symptoms (e.g. anxiety, depression, PTSD)
  • Fearful or submissive behavior
  • A partner insisting on being present during appointments or answering for the survivor

If you or someone you love is unsure if what they’re experiencing is abuse, contact a domestic abuse hotline or therapist. These are confidential conversations that can be lifesaving.

If you or someone you know needs help, confidential domestic abuse hotlines include:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: They have 24/7 support in over 200 languages. 1-800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788.
  • Love Is Respect: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 866-331-9474/TTY: 800.787.3224 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522 or select “Chat Now” here.
  • Safe Horizon (NY city ONLY): 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
  • StrongHearts Native Helpline: Culturally-appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for American Indian and Alaska Native individuals. 1-844-7NATIVE (1-844-762-8483) or their online chat, select “Chat Now.”
  • NNEDV’sWomensLaw Email Hotline: Offers emotional support, referrals and basic legal information regarding domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking.
  • The W.O.M.A.N., Inc.: (877) 384-3578 (In English and Español).
  • NextDoor Solutions (California): (408) 279-2962 and chat 24/7: click here.
  • NARIKA (Bay Area): Confidential helpline available live Monday through Friday from 8 AM to 8 PM PST. Crisis Line: 1-800-215-7308.
  • State Domestic Violence Coalitions: Domestic abuse help by state
  • 988 Lifeline: Free and confidential crisis line available 24/7/365.

Important Note for Safety

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. When seeking help, consider using a public computer or clearing your browser history. Some websites, especially ones related to domestic violence, have “quick exit” buttons.

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The Role of Therapy for Domestic Violence Survivors

Research indicates that domestic abuse therapy can be a powerful and highly effective tool in the recovery process for a domestic abuse survivor. Survivors of domestic violence often experience trauma symptoms like anxiety, depression, being on high alert, feeling disconnected, feeling numb and struggling to trust others.

Domestic abuse therapy has been found to improve psychological health, self esteem, social functioning and family relationships, while also lowering the chance of being victimized again.

Therapy can also offer:

  • Safety and validation: Being believed is healing in itself.
  • Tools for PTSD and anxiety: Techniques like EMDR, cognitive behavioral therapy or trauma-informed care.
  • Support in rebuilding identity: Survivors often lose their sense of self.
  • Help in setting boundaries: Therapy can guide new, healthier relationship patterns.

Domestic abuse therapy may occur in individual (one-on-one), group, family, or couples formats (only when deemed emotionally and physically safe). Online domestic abuse therapy can also provide accessible, discreet support for a domestic abuse survivor.

Domestic Violence Support Groups and Local Resources

Domestic abuse support groups can provide domestic abuse therapy in a group setting with other survivors. Having others who understand what you have experienced first-hand offers a sense of community, reducing the shame and isolation that abuse often brings.

These domestic abuse support groups can be found through:

Searching for a Therapist?

When looking for a therapist for domestic abuse therapy, search for therapists trained in domestic abuse counseling, trauma-informed care or EMDR therapy. You can find providers through online directories such as Therapy.com, Psychology Today, Mental Health Match, Therapy for Black Girls, or LatinX Therapy.

You are not alone. If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, please know that domestic abuse is never your fault. And know that help is available. Whether you are still in the relationship or you left years ago, healing is possible with the right support, safety and community.

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